Credulous Child

Well it's been a long time since I wrote here. To quote the Grateful Dead~ "What a long strange trip it's been". I've experienced as many ups as I have downs. Still kinda unraveling at the edges, but no worse for wear or tear I suppose.

I'd say that I've learned a bunch of lessons along the way, but honestly if I learned anything I wouldn't be repeating the same mistakes. I think I might be insane actually, if not terribly credulous. I keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I chalk it up to giving each individual the benefit of the doubt, but at sometime I need to start trusting myself and my intuition. The thing is, sometimes I think that I'd be better off if I didn't. If I were to revert to that ingenuous child like nature.

The difference between childish and childlike is a fine, thin line. In our quest for attaining adulthood, we tend to stifle the child in each of us. For who wouldn't want to, if just for a moment, go back to when times were simpler? Instead of being on the constant quest for the pursuit of happiness, just enjoying the ride. Giving 100% to the moment in which we are living in, and not worrying about what the future might hold. Soaking in the glory of the current moment for all it's worth. At what point and cost did I decide to abandon those child like virtures? And how do I even begin to get them back now that life seems consumed with fear, mistrust, prejudice, doubt and selfishness?